1. |
Judas
03:32
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I trusted you
You gave me no reason not to
Until you left me for some girl you knew
For a week or two
And I trusted you
I remember all the words of the song that you wrote for me,
“Nowhere to be, come and float with me
Stay and talk awhile with a twinkle in my eye, hold true”
You said hold true, before you left out of the blue
Before you crumbled like a coward and made some sick excuse
You said you’d hold true and I trusted you
It’s a shame all the words that you sang didn’t mean a thing
And I stood by your side even when you lied
Ten thousand miles across the sea
And I sent you a letter in the afternoon of November sixteenth
Just a few hours before you called me up and told me you’d be leaving
This is not the man I knew you to be who told me you’d be true to me
As we sat on the bathroom floor and you told me
“There’s nothing to be scared of don’t you see
I’ve always got your back so don’t worry”
And you kissed me in the door frame soft and sweet
So I trusted you
You gave me no reason not to
Until you left me for some girl you’ve known
For a week or two
And I trusted you
I trusted you
I trusted you
I trusted you
You gave me no reason not to
Until you left me for some girl you’ve known
For a week or two
And I trusted you
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2. |
Leave Me Out to Dry
03:42
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Just another high hope hung on the line
Bone-dry as my lips by your sweet sunshine
I liked the way it felt with your hand in mine
Should’ve known that you’d leave me out to dry
Oh I’m tired of hanging off of this clothesline
Oh I’m wasted and you leave me out to dry
But it was my fault that I set my hopes so high
I don’t know why this caught me by surprise
Just another fleeting love affair
Little talks, guards drop, I can see you’re scared
But you whisper sweet nothings, hands in my hair
I might be crazy but I really just thought you cared
Oh I’m tired of hanging off of this clothesline
Oh I’m wasted and you leave me out to dry
But it was my fault that I set my hopes so high
I don’t know why this caught me by surprise
Those sweet little words tumble out of your lips
Fingertips interlaced, leave me with a kiss
I know that I would always want a little bit more
So with my heavy heart, I close your bedroom door
Oh I’m tired of hanging off of this clothesline
Oh I’m wasted and you leave me out to dry
But it was my fault that I set my hopes so high
I don’t know why this caught me by surprise
Oh I’m tired of hanging off of this clothesline
Oh I’m wasted and you leave me out to dry
But it was my fault that I set my hopes so high
I don’t know why this caught me by surprise
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3. |
Lovebites from Leeches
03:56
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Love me and leave me
He's a leech sucking blood from my veins
When he bites me it reminds me
Of the love that you wasted away
Cause I haven't felt the fire since you
Met me at the Marylebone train
These days hatred and desire are
Essentially one in the same
“Please don't leave me alone,”
You begged, but my heart was stone cold
I might be a masochist
Cause I love it when you hurt me this way
I don’t remember a time when my
Skin was unmarred from the pain
Lovebites from leeches
Cigarette burns all the way
Up ivory thighs are the teeth marks
That are there to stay
Forever and forever at least
That's what you said that one day
“Please don't leave me alone,”
You begged, but my heart was stone cold
I might be a masochist
Cause I love it when you hurt me this way
Oh so hurt me this way
I refuse to try and fix you
The last time I did it broke me in two
These lovers or leeches are sucking me dry
I won’t let you hurt me then sit there as you cry
“Please don't leave me alone,”
You begged, but my heart was stone cold
I might be a masochist
Cause I love it when you hurt me this way
Oh so hurt me this way
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4. |
Forgive and Forget
04:45
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"This track is about running into an ex at a party and realizing there's a lot of unresolved feelings there. It's about the weight of words that you want to say out loud but can't." – Gemma
You saw me across the room
Flashing lights in the night, suddenly I knew
That you missed me too
And you looked beautiful tonight
Couldn’t tell you in a way that would sound alright
What happens when two lovers meet again
and the memories flood back?
What happens when you slam the door
But it stubbornly stays open just a crack?
Do I want you back?
My stitches have all healed
But my skin still longs to feel you close to me
But can I forgive and forget
All the pain you caused me?
But can I forgive and forget
All the days of agony?
I’m not your baby anymore
Can I forgive, forget?
I don’t think I can this time
Can we forgive, forget?
I don’t think we can this time
Can I forgive, forget?
I don’t think I can this time
Can we forgive, forget?
I don’t think we can this time
No, not this time
No, not this time
No, not this time
No, not this time
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5. |
Moonlight
04:14
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"I tried to capture that wonderful, vulnerable, terrifying feeling of when you realize, one night, that you're falling for somebody and you never want the morning to come." – Gemma
Sing to me in Portuguese
On my floor ‘till half past three
I’m scared I talk a little bit too much
So sing to me your favorite song
'Eternal Sunshine' hums along
Till coffee grinds on Canonbury lane
So I’ll hold you just a little tight
Because I know that the night
Will melt away to morning-time too soon
So I’ll hold you just a little tight
Cause I’m afraid that you might
Slip beneath the skyline with the moon
That you might slip beneath the skyline with the moon
Let’s not talk about sunrise
Let’s not listen to the bells chime
Cause everything we want is here under aching moonlight
And the morning is a million miles away
Cause everything we want is here under aching moonlight
And the morning is a million miles away
And the morning is a million miles away
And the morning is a million miles away
That lazy moon still lies awake
Stretching her arms when morning breaks
She cheats us from the clock we’ve tried to beat
But the stratosphere looks nice tonight
With you under the hazy sky
Why do we love the ones who have to leave?
So I’ll hold you just a little tight
Because I know that the night
Will melt away to morning-time too soon
So I’ll hold you just a little tight
‘Cause I’m afraid that you might
Slip beneath the skyline with the moon
Oh please don’t slip beneath the skyline with the moon
So let’s not talk about sunrise
And let’s not listen when the bells chime
‘Cause everything we want is here under aching moonlight
And the morning is a million miles away
Cause everything we want is here under aching moonlight
And the morning is a million miles away
And the morning is a million miles away
And the morning is a million miles away
And the morning is a million miles away
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6. |
Three Thousand Miles
03:50
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"It breaks my heart listening to this song over again. It's so hopeful and blindly romantic. The song is about sensing that a relationship might fall apart soon and doing everything in your power to hold onto it." – Gemma
Can you tell me every little thing’s gonna be alright?
Can you soothe my heart so I can sleep at peace tonight?
You really scared me with your cold words
That still just don’t feel right
Can you tell me that your crooked heart is still with mine?
So before you open your sweet lips
And say the words that’ll make me lose my grip
Come back to hot summer days in Setauket haze
When we’d sleep late, wake up with me in the morning rays
That danced off the waves on the New York shore
Where we’d lie in the sands and never wanted more
Than to live in this crooked, perfect love
So before you speak, there’s something I have to say
My crooked love, please don’t up and fly away
My baby child, here must be something I can say
Something like,
“Three thousand miles ain’t got nothin’ on our love, my baby child”
So stay and we’ll make it through these lonesome days
Baby please stay, we’ll make it through these lonesome days
You know I love you but I’ve been bruised so many times before
You know I’m trying to understand your mind a little more
I really hope that we still have some time for us in store
Please don’t leave me wondering if you might slam the door
So before you open your sweet lips
And say the words that’ll make me lose my grip
Come back to hot summer days in Setauket haze
When we’d sleep late, wake up with me in the morning rays
That danced off the waves on the New York shore
Where we’d lie in the sands and never wanted more
Than to live in this crooked love
So before you speak, there’s something I have to say
My crooked love, please don’t up and fly away
My baby child, here must be something I can say
Something like,
“Three thousand miles ain’t got nothin’ on our love, my baby child”
So stay and we’ll make it through these lonesome days
Baby please stay, we’ll make it through these lonesome days
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7. |
The Mourning Dove Song
02:09
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"A poem for my grandmother" – Gemma
I thought of you when the mourning dove sang
As I walked through the beech groves today
I said that I’d write you but it must have slipped my mind
As I found out that the beast had grown,
‘Till I found out that it spread from the scars on your chest
To your liver and your lungs and your bones
Last time I saw you, the roses were blooming
Pimm’s on the lawn and mourning doves crooning,
Champagne and birthday cake,
We got drunk on those summer days
Underneath the Somerset sun
I lose myself in reveries so I don’t lose the memories
of the way you used to light up the room
I know winter’s gale will take you away,
I’ll sing Abide With Me on your funeral day,
And smile at the bittersweet sound of your name
Still the mourning dove sings every day
Still the mourning dove sings every day
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8. |
Crooked Heart
03:16
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"This is the track that started the album! I was struck by the line in W.H. Auden's 'As I Walked Out One Evening': 'You shall love your crooked neighbour / With your crooked heart.' So I wrote a love song about it, and then the album unfolded from there" – Gemma
Stay a while, my crooked love
Don’t fly away just yet
It’s a quarter past eleven
And the Q-train hasn’t left
So I can see your freckled face
And smile awhile more
And hold your calloused hand in mine
There’s nothing I want more
Than to ride on that train next to you
Than to fly on that plane next to you
Than to soar over state-lines and oceans next to you
Than to wake up every morning next to you
Than to wake up every morning next to you
Next to you
Remember when we’d amble home
Those cold nights through the snow
And listen to some Johnny Flynn
Drunk on my carpet floor?
Somehow your love outdoes
Anything I’ve felt before
You look at me and now I see
There’s nothing I want more
Than to ride on that car next to you
Than to fly on that plane next to you
Than to soar over state lines and oceans next to you
Than to wake up every morning next to you
Than to wake up every morning next to you
Next to you
Oh I’ll love my crooked neighbor
With my crooked heart
Oh I’ll love my crooked neighbor
With my crooked heart
So I’ll ride on that train car next to you
Oh I’ll fly on that jet plane next to you
And I’ll soar over state lines and oceans next to you
So I can wake up every morning next to you
So I can wake up every morning next to you
So I can wake up every morning next to you
Next to you
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9. |
Don't Slam the Door
05:03
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"Don't Slam the Door is a song about closure. It's about mourning the end of relationship by celebrating the moments (both joyful and challenging) that you've shared. And it's about not being ready to leave those moments behind quite yet." – Gemma
We got so good at goodbyes
Train station platforms and telephone lines
Reciting our lines every night
I was afraid but I couldn’t say why
Oh I was afraid but I couldn’t say why
We rehearsed unbeknownst for the curtains to fall
I hung up your dead roses up on my wall
There’s always a farewell to follow hello
Oh we didn’t know, we didn’t know
You said we’d always have memories
You and me, green-painted hallways
But I can’t think like that
I love you too much to hold you in the past
So don’t slam the door
When you go darling, don’t slam the door
When you go darling, don’t slam the door
When you go darling, don’t slam the door
When you go darling, don't slam the door
Three times you almost flew up and away
All but the last I convinced you to stay
Walked back from the party, you gave me your coat
Don’t you recall, we were good at hellos
Don’t you recall, we were good at hellos
Was it my fault for moving away
Left you in the hills when I got on my plane?
I’ll always remember you waving goodbye
In my rearview mirror I started to cry
In my rearview mirror I started to cry
In my rearview mirror I started to cry
You said we’d always have memories
You and me, green-painted hallway
But I can’t think like that
I love you too much to hold you in the past
So don’t slam the door
When you go darling, don’t slam the door
When you go darling, don’t slam the door
When you go darling, don’t slam the door
When you go darling, don’t slam the door
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10. |
Wayward Child
03:35
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"This is a song I wrote for a student of mine who lost his father at a very young age. It's about trying to find moments of beauty in grief" – Gemma
He once was a wayward child
Knees always bruised, he wore a crooked smile
He lived in a house made of hazelwood
With his Ma and Pa deep into the woods
Everyday before sunset he’d go out with his father
To the forest they would tread to pick flowers for his mother
But a year’s slipped away since his twelfth birthday
But the morn now chills him to the bone
For on that same day his Pa passed away
Now he picks wildflowers alone
That old forest floor cuts him to the core
Every spring when the bluebells bloom
And the dogwood grows in the soil below
And the ivy creeps towards the moon
Everyday before sunset he’d go out with his father
To the forest they would tread to pick flowers for his mother
But a year’s slipped away since his twelfth birthday
But the morn now chills him to the bone
For on that same day his Pa passed away
Now he picks wildflowers alone
For that wayward boy no longer finds joy
In the flowers he once adored
And that crooked smile no one’s seen in awhile
How I hope to see it once more
Oh my boy who I’d give anything for
Everyday before sunset he’d go out with his father
To the forest they would tread
To pick flowers for his mother
A year’s slipped away since his twelfth birthday
But the morn now chills him to the bone
For on that same day his Pa passed away
Now he picks wildflowers alone
He picks me wildflowers alone
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Gemma Laurence Brunswick, Maine
Gemma Laurence is a queer indie folk artist from the coast of Maine, now based in Brooklyn. Her debut LP Crooked Heart came out in 2019, and her latest single "Adrienne" is out now.
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